Friday, 20 February 2009
This year is my most trying year yet. My beliefs, morals and tolerance level was put to the test. Every little bit of knowledge which I had accumulated through my 15 years of living on this Earth is going to help me survive. Not only in academics but in every aspect of my life.
My integrity was tested yesterday. Sad to say that I wavered for a while and actually contemplated on taking the easy way instead of the right way out. Although I was feeling terrible from the beginning of the day, I felt happier in the end. Maybe because Mdm Pramela commented that I was good in oral.
Still, I feel that my patience is wearing thin each day. I tend to blow up at every little (although in my opinion, it's not very little) thing. It's hard to be patient when you're repeating yourself over and over again. If I do fire up, I'll regret it later and I'll beat myself up over it. One whole vicious cycle.
And then there's the beliefs. They're like irritating voices in your head telling you how you're suppose to be instead of letting you just
be. I used to think that I'm too nice. After I stepped up, I felt that I was becoming more strict and a miser with compliments. Just when I truly believed in that, Ms Ong told me today to be more instructive as I'm apparently "too nice". Another vicious cycle.
I hate vicious cycles. They're so... Viciously exhausting.
But through this week, I have learnt that faith can really lift a person up. I hate an intriguing conversation with Xinwan on Wednesday after choir about faith and what keeps us coming back to choir. Today, Esther was kind enough to share with me her opinions on a few matters. She said that she understood my position as ASL and related it to her being moral CL. I smiled and was glad that she was mature when it came to some matters.
Hm... Since I'm not very good with compliments, I'll try and find at least one good thing about this week...
Oh right.
HAPPY BIRHTDAY, LI QIN!!!
She looked absolutely delighted when she received her presents. Thank god she didn't say anything about the wrapping.
Labels: beliefs, birthday, choir
-strips of memory
8:18 pm
