Friday, 4 July 2008
I'm finally updating my blog. Unfortunately, this post is not really a happy one. I have this rule of at least updating my blog once a month. As the days go by, it's finally July. So time for me to step up to my commitment.
And that's what I've learnt so far these past few days:
Commitment. That and about the true meaning of believing. But I'll get on to that later.
I have been hearing the "
c" word for quite some time now. Liqin and You You will know what I'm talking about. Some time in the holidays, I must have lost tracked of what I was already committed to. Because of my carelessness, I am now very stress. So yes, I admit it. I brought this upon myself.
Today, however, I just couldn't take it. Maybe it was Zehuan's senseless babble. Or maybe it was the whole greenbuilding meeting. Whatever the case, I resorted to inflicting physical pain onto myself (something which I promise never to do in times of stress).
I grabbed my ruler and started hitting the back of my left hand. Sort of like a "mini caning". It wasn't that painful actually. Sure, my hand was red afterwards but it quickly recovered.
Amazing. Still, thanks to all those who tried to stop me from hitting myself and told me not to stress out. You You, Liqin, Kang Yong, Rizqi, Liyana, Agnes... ... And I think that's all.
So you can pretty much guess how I felt for the rest of the day. I cheered up a little after Malay class. Maybe it was because we got to relax. But I felt really hungry. In the end, I only ate one sandwich for lunch.
After lunch, it was choir practice. Some of the juniors were so delighted to see me; telling me that they missed me, etc etc. That really put a smile on my face despite my almost-empty stomach.
Smiles really are contagious. Anyway, I was in a good mood when I entered the AVA theatre. I was still in a good mood when it was time for sectionals.
And this is where I stop typing out the details of the practice. I need to practice what I preach so I can't blog anything bad about choir.
Overall, today was really stressful. I was expecting a Youth Day concert (just so I can miss chemistry class) but instead I got an almost-tasteless vanilla ice-cream and a too-tasteful honeycomb one.
Oh and to all my juniors who actually read my blog: a big
HELLO!!! xDD I find it quite hard to believe that this blog is being read by them since my private life is quite -how shall I put it?- tiring.
Moving on, I did tons of reflection (ugh) when I reached home. Mostly about choir of course. Which is why I have planned a surprise for my
dear altos this Wednesday. I wonder if they are reading this... Well, just in case they are, I hope they'll be prepared.
One last thing before I go off. I've noticed that there has been a lot of misunderstandings going on lately. And Dolly actually goes blog hopping. So Dolly Chua, in case you just happen to drop by, here's how I really feel about what's been going on in choir.
Read on for the higlights. ^^
Yes, I realise that smiling at them will not make them smile back at us. Of course they won't if you do it for only half a second and that it doesn't even reach your eyes. I shout at them because deep down, deep deep down, I care and that even if they hate me at the end of the day, I still do.
And so should you. I was very surprised when you were elected for Vice-president. I admitted this much to you. But after a while, I got use to the idea. After all, no matter what, you will do your best.
Ms Ang must have chosen you because that maybe among our batch, excluding Wiphaporn, you have nerves of steel. When the going gets tough, you'll get going. Even when everyone else has given up, you will still be there cheering us on (and eating rice?).
Jokes aside, in other words, this is how I feel. In the past, I believed wholeheartedly that you could do it.
But right now, for reasons beyond my understanding, I still do.
Don't give up, Dolly. Don't forget about the sms I showed you on that day. =)
-strips of memory
10:30 pm
